In November 1998, after several tests, our worst fears were realized when it was discovered that Grace was afflicted with breast cancer. After undergoing chemotherapy, she underwent a mastectomy. That was followed by a difficult recovery from the surgery and more chemotherapy, in June '99 she returned to work part time. After more grueling chemotherapy and radiation were applied it seemed that possibly the worst was over. But in October of '99, it was discovered that the cancer had returned and had spread to her spine/bones.

Grace continued to go through treatment to fight this disease and even though so many people prayed that it wouldn't defeat her, she lost the battle on Christmas morning, 2000.   This is the detailed summary of her progress and the trials and tribulations that she endured, and unfortunately her decline, as it happened. 

23 December 1998

Dear Friends,

    As you may know, a serious concern over Grace's health came up recently.  We hadn't made it widely known about her condition until we had all of the information available.  About a month ago it was discovered that Grace has breast cancer.  After she went through several tests and consultations (including a second opinion) over the last few weeks, it has been decided that she will be going through chemotherapy for about 3 months (starting next week), prior to having surgery.  It has been difficult dealing with this situation as you might expect.  Dealing with the fact that Grace has cancer, that treatment is going to be very difficult, and finally that it is going to change our lives substantially from this point forward has been weighing heavily on our hearts and minds.  One of the most difficult parts was deciding which treatment to undergo (since one doctor recommended surgery prior to chemo and the other doctor recommended the opposite) and the amount of time it has taken to come to this decision.  There are several factors, that we won't go into now, that influenced her decision to select one approach over the other.

    We've been very fortunate to have a very good network of support.  Both of our families are relatively near by, we have a lot of good friends, a very understanding employer, and great support from our brothers and sisters at church.  And of course, knowing that God will provide and protect us as He as done so well for us in the past, has been very comforting.

    Thank you so much for the calls and letters and the offering of prayers to help us through this challenge that faces Grace and our families.  Brian will attempt to give an update as much as possible to keep you informed, either by e-mail or by our website (http://www.geocities.com/NapaValley/6351).  We would greatly appreciate it if you could limit the number of phone calls to us during this period of time to allow Grace to get plenty of rest as the treatment will be very draining of her energy.  Feel free to pass on this information to others so that they may also have this information.  

We hope you have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 Love,

       Grace, Brian & Matthew

29 December 1998

Well, Grace finally was able to work out something with the insurance (after a lot of headaches) and will be going in for her first chemotherapy treatment tomorrow, Wednesday, morning.  Every person has a different reaction to the chemotherapy, so we'll have to see how she does.  Please continue to pray for us as we start on this difficult period of our lives.  Thanks!

6 January 1999

Grace went back to work on Monday and has been able to make it through three whole days so far!  Today was a challenge because of Matthew last night.  But besides being weak, and fighting off queasiness occasionally throughout the day, she's done pretty well despite it being 7 days since she started her chemotherapy.   Tomorrow she has a doctor's appointment to see how she has progressed through the first week.

19 January 1999

Overall, Grace has been doing quite well with her chemotherapy treatment (one time, so far), considering what the treatment is doing to her body.  She's been back at work up until last week (when the whole family got sick from Matthew), but basically has been living a fairly normal routine, except for the constant fatigue and occasional minor queasiness.  But the biggest change that Grace is going though now is the loss of her hair! : (.  Even though she knew it was going to happen, the process of watching your beautiful head of hair end up all over the house is quite disconcerting, although her spirits have been pretty good.

Her last visit to the doctor showed that she isn't quite progressing as well as hoped, but the doctor is monitoring her very closely.   Tomorrow will be her next treatment so she will probably be off from work for a couple of days, at least.  Her folks are coming up to visit again just in case she's not feeling too well and might need some help during the day.

23 January 1999

Grace seems to be having more difficulty this time (her second chemo treatment) than last time.  Since Wednesday she's been feeling really dizzy, weak and nauseous.  Her parents were here from Wednesday 'til Friday night, so that has helped her out a lot.  On Friday she had an appointment with her hairdresser and had her cut off all of her remaining hair, since it was getting to be such a bother falling out all over the place.  This is a difficult stage of the treatment, psychologically, because we are all reminded constantly that she is really sick, now that all of the hair on her head is gone.  We are hoping that she will feel good enough to return to work on Monday, but as of now (Saturday night) that may be rather optimistic.

8 February 1999

OK, it's been a while since we last updated about Grace.  There is good reason for that because she has been doing quite well with the treatment.  After a rough few days following treatment #2, she returned to work and except for being tired a lot, has been doing quite well since.  This coming Wednesday (the 10th) she will be having her third chemotherapy treatment, so she will probably be somewhat incapacitated again through the weekend.  But her parents will be here again to help out, so she will be in good hands.

She made a regular visit to her doctor today and he told her that it appears that the treatment is reducing the lump substantially.  That is a good sign.  But the thing that made her the happiest was when he told her that she could eat SUSHI!  We were worried that the bacteria from the raw fish (found on SOME types of sushi) could be detrimental due to her weakened immunity.

Grace will be having one more cycle of chemotherapy (after Wednesday) before having surgery so that means tentatively we are looking at about the end of March for that to happen (followed by four more cycles of chemo, and possibly radiation or even a bone marrow transplant, depending on the outcome of the surgery).   We've been seriously contemplating getting some live-in help to take care of Grace (and Matthew) for a couple of months, but it's very difficult to find the right person.  

18 February 1999

This last chemotherapy has been quite different than the last two.  Grace was feeling really good for a couple of days immediately afterwards, but then started feeling really tired and nauseated for the next few days.   She says that she feels a lot more fatigued this time than the previous times.   She was off of work from Wednesday through Tuesday this time, but is doing much better as of Wednesday.

29 February 1999

Grace now has a definite date for her surgery, which will take place on April 6th.  She has one more chemotherapy before surgery on March 3rd.  She will have to spend about 4 days in the hospital, and then will be home for about 6 weeks for recovery.  Then she will still have more chemotherapy following surgery, and possibly other types of treatment, depending on the outcome of the surgery.

13 March 1999

Her last chemotherapy was administered on Wednesday, March 3rd.  This one seems to have been the most difficult one so far, but it's possible that she may have some type of virus in addition to the chemo side-effects.   Brian has been sick all week (March 6-13) and it seems that Grace has some of the same symptoms (similar to what Matthew had the week before!).  She stayed home from work on Wednesday through Friday immediately after her chemo, but also missed a few days during the subsequent week, feeling very, very tired and fighting off bouts of nausea.   Yesterday (3/12) she went in to the doctor for more tests, and had to swallow some really yucky stuff that would make you sick, even if you weren't already ill.

5 April 1999

Up to this point Grace has been doing pretty well, showing some good progress from the chemotherapy, and has been handling it about as good as can be expected. She has undergone so many tests and has been feeling extremely tired (along with the nausea for a few days after each chemo session), but still has been able to go to work and be a mommy and wife.

Well, tomorrow is the big step on Grace's road to recovery in her breast cancer treatment. She will be undergoing surgery starting at about 7:30 AM, and is planned to last about 5-6 hours. She is supposed to check in to the hospital  at 5:45 AM (yikes!) so it is going to be a long day for her. Her stay is expected to be from 4 to 6 days. She will still be undergoing more treatment afterwards, but depending on what is found during surgery, will determine what treatment she will have. It may consist of more chemo, radiation and possibly other forms of treatment, so she's not out of the woods yet. Brian will try to let everyone know as soon as possible, what her status is. Grace will be off of work for approximately two months, recuperating at home.

We've been blessed to receive some many good wishes, prayers, meals and just good help during this tough time. But it hasn't been without a few problems, like one we found out today. We had hired someone to help us out for two months, to take care of Grace, watch Matthew part time and clean the house. She had been cleaning once a week for the last month and was supposed to start full-time today, but when she didn't show up today we found out that she quit without telling us. Sigh. We'll have to make some adjustments, but should be able to work something out.

It's getting late, but I just wanted to let you know what's going on and to ask that you keep Grace and us in you prayers tomorrow and over the next couple of months.

6 April 1999

Grace's Surgery

Woke up at 4:20 AM (*o*).  My parents arrived at our house @4:55 to take care of Matthew when he woke up and take him to daycare.  It started raining on the way to the hospital.  Hopefully that wasn't an omen of hoe the day was going to go.  Arrived at 5:45 and Grace was quickly and efficiently processed for surgery. Everyone there was so nice and professional.  Grace was very calm and did not act nervous or scared (although earlier she complained about feeling a little nauseous).  At 7:25 we kissed goodbye and she was rolled into surgery right on time.   Went up to the cafeteria and had a big breakfast with coffee to get me going after such an early start.

So I bought the newspaper and spent the next couple of hours in the waiting area.  The waiting area reminds me of airport waiting area near gates - quite roomy with much more comfortable seating.  Part 1 of Grace's surgery (the removal of the tumor and lymph nodes) was complete at about 11 AM.  Dr. Chang (probably the most renowned breast surgeon in the country) was nice enough to come up and personally tell me that everything went smoothly (most of the doctors just called in to the waiting area).   She said that the pathology report (about the cancer) would take about 5 days, but since she would be out of town from the 9th to the 13th, she would try to get some info to us by the 8th. At 11:30 I called my Mom and gave her the update. She said that when Matthew woke up he was asking for us but was OK after she held him for a while and watched some morning kids TV.  He fell down in the rain getting out of the car at daycare, but except for being wet, he was OK.  Also called Grace's mom and gave her the latest.  She was very thankful that things were going well so far.

Then I went over to the cafeteria but wasn't really feeling hungry, so only had a Snapple iced tea.  They actually have a pretty good cafe with El Pollo Loco, Starbucks coffee and even a sushi chef (yup, only in LA!).  Walked around the area for a while to stretch my legs and get some fresh air (it was still wet outside and very gloomy, but the rain seemed to have stopped.  Grace's brother got a call through to the waiting area at 1:00 to check Grace's status for her Mom and the volunteer at the desk found out that it would be about another 30 minutes (damn, the staff here is great).

About 15 minutes later the plastic surgeon's assistant called me in the waiting area and said that they were finishing up, everything went well, she'd be going to the recovery area soon, and the doctor would be by to talk to me.  Well the doctor didn't come by but the volunteer told me at 1:20 that she got a call and that Grace was being moved to recovery and would be there for about an hour. So, called both Moms and went to the cafeteria for lunch since it would be while before I could see her and I was finally starting to get hungry.

The cafeteria was really packed at 1:30, probably because of the rain, so no one was sitting outside.  I ordered the special, which was lemon-herb chicken, baby carrots, collard greens and rice. OK for cafeteria food, but nothing to write home about.  Sat by the automatic doors to the courtyard and was amused at the people who couldn't figure which was "in" and which was "out" (they aren't marked).  I made eye contact with this one guy who insisted on trying to go in through the "out" door.  I think he thought no one saw him until he saw me watching  (heh heh). I'm so bad.

At 2:20 I went back to waiting area, and Grace was still in recovery.  Grace's plastic surgeon called at 1:40 while I was in cafeteria, and said she was OK.  At 3:00 Joe called again, but I thought it was the doctor calling to tell me that Grace was finally moved.  False alarm.  Finally at 3:20 they called and said they moved her to a regular hospital room.  Went up to her floor but still had to wait a few more minutes while they cleaned her up a bit.

When I finally got to her room Grace was really beat, but otherwise doing pretty well considering that she had just gone through 6 hours of surgery!  I did what I could for her, but just keeping her company was the most I could really do for her.  Aside from giving her ice chips and scratching places that she couldn't because of all the tubes and needles stuck into her, just my being there was the best thing for her.  I stayed for a couple of hours but had to go home to take care of Matthew before he went to bed, so that he wouldn't feel too abandoned by us today.  Whew, I'm exhausted.  Thank you to everyone who has kept us in your prayers and sent good wishes our way.  God answered all of our prayers and made Grace's surgery successful.   Please keep praying for Grace's full recovery!

7 April 1999

Thanks again to everyone who has sent flowers, get well wishes and offered your support!  Grace really appreciates it, and I'm sure it is helping a lot with her recovery.  Her part of the room (which she is sharing with two other ladies) looks like a veritable flower shop, and she laughed a lot at the printouts of the e-mails that were sent to us.  She was doing better today, but still has a good deal of pain, and tires very easily.  Because of that, Grace is requesting not to have any visitors as yet and that you don't call her in the room, because it's just too difficult to reach over and answer the phone.  You're welcome to call Brian or send e-mail and he will get back with you as soon as possible.

Today she started taking some food, although it was just a clear liquid diet of apple juice, chicken broth, Jell-O and some really horrible-tasting cranberry-apple nutritional drink.  I didn't believe her at first, since I know that your taste buds get all messed up from the drugs and IV, but I tried it and it was really disgusting.  How do they expect people to get better when they have to drink junk like that?  The one funny thing that happened to her today was that she was visited by a couple of doctors and about TEN student doctors to take a look at her operation results.  She laughed about it, but it must have been pretty embarrassing to have a bunch of strangers (mostly men) come to stare at your naked chest.

That's about it for tonight.  We are still evaluating our situation with the need for a housekeeper/nanny and will let everyone know what we decide soon!  God bless and good night!

8 April 1999

Oh, Grace is doing soooo much better today!  Her energy level is getting much better, and that sparkle in her eye is starting to come back.  She's still got some significant pain, but fortunately she has the magic button at her disposal (she can give herself a boost of morphine directly into her bloodstream whenever she feels like it.... ahhhhhh).  She was even able to stand and move around a bit (with a lot of help from me) and that is a really good sign.  As a matter of fact, the doctor said that she will be able to go home this Saturday morning!  Yeah!!!!! =)

As usual, I brought by the printouts of all the e-mails from today and she really loves them!  Even though she may be alone in her room all day (well, actually she's sharing it with two others) she knows that a LOT of people are thinking about her.   Sheesh, you should see the window sill in her room now with all of the flowers!  Actually there is kind of a humorous make-believe competition between her and her roomie to see who gets the most flower arrangements.  There must be at least two dozen sets of flowers, balloons, fruit, stuffed animals, etc. lined up along the window between the two of them!

Since she is feeling so much better now, she is accepting visitors now (she actually had a couple today) and she has the phone right next to her in bed so she is able to answer the phone now too.  But please remember that she needs her rest, so please do keep your visit/phone calls short.  That's it for now.   Hopefully the next update will be to say that she has come home!

10 April 1999

Yea!!!  Grace came home from the hospital today!  It's gonna be rough for the next couple of weeks, but at least no more hospital food  :p.

15 April 1999

Oh, and for the latest news about Grace, she got some of the pathology report back from the doctor today. The lump that was removed with the breast appears to be only scar tissue, remaining from the chemo, so that is really good news. She had more than 30 lymph nodes removed in the process and a couple of them are questionable, with more info to come later.   So far, God has answered our prayers, but we still need to continue praying.  The one bad thing though, is that she is still in quite a bit of pain, mostly from the lymph node removals, but also from the other parts of the surgery, and it is really wearing her out.  She can't seem to find a comfortable position anywhere, lying, sitting, standing, etc. and it makes it tough to get rest.  I hope that the pain will subside before too long.

25 April 1999

Grace's tests after the surgery all came back with excellent results.  The area that had the tumor showed NO signs of cancer, only scar tissue left over from the chemo (Thank you God!).  She also had 35 lymph nodes removed and of those, three showed just some residual signs.  Even her local oncologist was very surprised at the good results.  But because of the nature of the disease, she must go through more chemo and radiation to be sure that everything is gone. And Grace will be starting her next round of chemo this Wednesday.  Supposedly this type of chemo that she will be taking this time has different side effects from the one she had before.  

In real terms, you may ask, how is she doing.  Still kinda up and down.  The results are very good, but she's still only feeling fair at best, because there is some pain and quite a bit of numbness and discomfort.  And she's getting really bored of staying at home!

1 May 1999

On Wednesday, Grace started her new set of chemotherapy, with different drugs from the ones she took before surgery.  She made her first solo drive, since before her surgery, to the doctor and was quite apprehensive about it since her upper body mobility is still very limited and she has quite a bit of pain still.   The treatment took 6 and a half hours this time, so she was really worn out by the time she got home.  She felt OK for the next day or so, but early Friday evening as we had dinner at La Salsa, the side effects of the chemo hit her and hit hard.  Extreme body aches, pain and dizziness really put her down.  She needed the double dose of Vike to make the pain, at best, bearable.  Then this morning she continued to be illin' and even had to make several trips to the bathroom to pray to the porcelain gods (sorry, but I always liked that euphemism).  But by this evening, she was feeling better.

22 May 1999

On Wednesday (5/19), Grace had her second chemotherapy for this post-surgery session.  She did pretty good on Thursday and Friday, but today the body aches, numbness in the fingers and toes, nausea and overall weakness have returned.   Just a day or two prior to this latest chemo, Grace's hair began to fall out again (sigh!).  It was just starting to grow back, and was almost an inch long.  Oh well, at least she's on the path to recovery, although it's a really bumpy ride :(.

24 May 1999

Grace didn't feel that well this weekend from the chemo side effects.  Pain, numbness, nausea, and several other things kept her feeling pretty crappy most of the weekend and today. :( 

27 May 1999

She's doing OK, but isn't quite ready yet to return to work.  She was scheduled to go back on the 1st of June but has delayed her return for a couple more weeks.  She will be having her next chemo visit next Tuesday.

10 June 1999

Tuesday, Grace was supposed to go in for her third cycle of chemotherapy, but after sticking her arm about 6-7 times, they just couldn't find a vein and had to postpone her session until today.  She did go back today and this time was able to receive her full 4 1/2 hour treatment.

12 June 1999

Grace has crashed and burned again from her most recent chemotherapy and is resting in anticipation of returning to work on Tuesday (yuck!).  She will try to work part-time to begin with and see how it goes for a while.  Her own journal entries should be up on-line soon!

16 June 1999

Yesterday was Grace's first day back to work, and it seemed to go pretty well, except that thanks to ol' Murphy's law, they had a FIRE DRILL!  She convinced them that she shouldn't be running down six flights of stairs, so she just sat and watched everyone go by.  But as she was just waiting, everyone came by to welcome her back and give her hugs and kisses!  She's trying to figure out what her options are for working part time, at least until she is done with her treatments and she gets her strength back.  May be a little while before we put up Grace's journal entries, since we're putting some final touches on it and she is a little apprehensive about her first time.

24 June 1999

Grace's last chemotherapy session is scheduled for July 1st (yeah!).  She still has some follow-up surgery and a couple of weeks of radiation therapy to go before it's all over, though.

1 July 1999

2 July 1999

4 July 1999

7 July 1999

8 July 1999

Short update tonight.  Grace returned to work today.

17 July 1999

We hafta get up really early on Monday (I'm taking the day off) to take Grace to the hospital @ 6:30 AM (Yikes!).  Her follow-up surgery is expected to take about 2 hours, with another couple of hours for recovery, so it will be another long day.  But at least she should be home by the afternoon, some time.  Please pray that everything goes well again, thanks!  =)

19 July 1999

Her follow-up surgery today took about 2 and a half hours and another couple of hours for her recovery.  She had some problems with the anesthesia, but seems to be doing better now.  She will be home recovering for several days and will be taking her pain medication for a while.  So, we won't be doing any rollerblading or Tae Bo or Twister for the time being (heh-heh).  Thanks a lot to everyone for their support!

21 July 1999

Grace is feeling a little better since her surgery, but is still quite uncomfortable, fairly immobile, and having some pain.  But she's resting at home for a couple of weeks and should be much better by then.

22 July 1999

Grace has left for her parents' house for a long weekend, to get some rest and have full time attention as she recovers.  Matthew went along too, to give daddy a break at home.

2 August 1999

Grace reluctantly returned to work today (still on a part-time basis) after taking time off from her "revision" surgery.   She is slowly recovering from all of her treatments and surgeries, but is still having a lot of aches, pain, numbness, and fatigue.  It seems to be taking a lot longer to recover from the chemo this time, since her second round was a much stronger type of drug.  Also, she's still waiting for that hair to return!!  Ack!

9 August 1999

Grace is continuing to go through a number of tests such as CT scans, bone scans, blood tests, etc. as the doctors monitor her progress very carefully.  The doctors haven't really given her any significant update on her condition and probably won't until everything is complete, so that has been somewhat difficult for us.  This week she starts on her radiation therapy, which will take about 5 weeks, a 1/2 hour of treatment every day.  Look for more fatigue and soreness for Gracie to endure :(.

12 August 1999

Grace started her radiation therapy today.

24 August 1999

Grace's radiation treatment is still continuing on for a few more weeks. Her hair is really starting to come back in now (yay!) and it's probably a full 1/4 in long all the way around. It seems that her energy level is coming back in spurts, but she still has a long way to go before she feels up to her old self.

12 September 1999

Ack, it looks like Grace is sick again.  She complained of feeling really crappy all day today, and tonight she has a bit of a fever.   It's probably a combination of the cumulative effect of all her radiation treatments and having such a weakened immune system.   She's been having a lot of days over the last several months where she just feels lousy, but this time it seems to be a real cold/flu.

19 September 1999

Grace's energy level is still pretty low, and she is still bothered by back pain. But there is some great news for tomorrow (Monday).   It's Grace's last radiation treatment session!!!  Woo-Hoo!  After months of chemotherapy, surgery, chemotherapy, more surgery, radiation and all of the other tests, medical visits, etc., it's almost over!  Realistically, it will never be "over", and Grace still has medication to take, more testing and more doctor's visits.  But we just thank God for all that he's done for this family, giving us the strength to get through it all and for Grace's recovery.  But please keep praying for Grace's continued health and strength for us all :)

20 September 1999

Grace's treatment ended today!  YAY!!!!!!

6 October 1999

After consulting (yet again) with the UCLA team of doctors for a second opinion, it was confirmed that there're signs of metastatic cancer in Grace's spine. The docs decided to stay put for a few months to let the oral medication to take effect (normally it takes 3-4 months, and she started taking it back in early August). They'll then repeat the MRI in another 6-8 weeks to see it there're any changes. We'll then decide what course of action to take.

16 December 1999

Yes, bad news from the tests done on 12/10 - the MRI showed that the cancer is also on the pelvic bones (both sides) in addition to the lumbar spine (lower back).  This explains the pain around the right hip that keeps lingering on after the fall in NorCal while we were on vacation.  Grace's doctor already switched her to a new medication (apparently the Temoxifen is not working!).   If the tumor marker (a number that's measured by blood tests which has been steadily going back up to the pre-chemo level) doesn't go down by the next time she sees him in January, it's more than likely that he'll put her back on chemo.

9 January 2000

Grace starts radiation again on her back and left pelvic area this Tuesday.  She'll be starting Aradia this week as well, plus chemo.  It looks like she might take Xeloda this time, which is an oral chemo. Here goes the second round of treatments. 

15 January 2000

The doctor gave Grace a new pain medication this past Monday since the pain doesn't seem to be subsiding.   It was probably a little too strong for her system and she got violently ill on Tuesday about 1/2 an hour after I had breakfast.    She told her doctor that she'll just stay on her pain pills for now until she gets rid of the flu.  She hasn't yet started her new chemo treatments yet until she finishes her radiation and dental work at the end of the month.

28 January 2000

The radiation is catching up with Grace and she's been feeling really exhausted. She had several dentist appointments this week, including three on Monday (from the general dentist to two other specialists for the numbness in her lower right lip and jaw), one on Wednesday (finally decided that she needed two root canals, and started working on one), one today, and another next Monday (the second root canal). Actually, no one so far could tell for sure what's causing the numbness. But, at least they ruled out cancer. She's also waiting to start her oral chemotherapy as soon as all the dental work is done too. Oh, then there's also her stomach cramps. Again, no one knows the source. The speculation is it could be from the pain medication, or her cold, or radiation. She now thinks that she walks like a pregnant lady (from the stiffness of the back pain). Just two more sessions of radiation though!!

30 January 2000

15 February 2000

24 February 2000

2 March 2000

22 March 2000

23 March 2000

28 March 2000

The pain has really been bothering Grace, therefore lack of desire to do anything. It's now shooting down her left leg whenever she's up and about. It even stays with her when she's just sitting down. The tumor marker actually leveled off for the first time after she started the oral chemo, so the doctor decided to stick with it for the time being. As for the pain - well, more and new pain medication. One more bone scan coming up.......

9 April 2000

Since Grace's neurologist couldn't figure out what the heck is causing the numbness on her chin and down her arm, he's now sending her to a physical therapist. She did suggest that the numbness down her arm is possibly due to a pinched nerve in the neck/shoulder area. We'll see how much this'll help.

The bone scan result came back and it showed that the cancer had spread to more areas on her spine (pretty much the entire spine, plus the femur and the long bones down on both legs) since the previous scan done in August '99. Both her doctor and her are very puzzled since the MRI she just did a month ago didn't show any sign of cancer on the cervical and thoracic parts of the spine, and MRIs are supposed to be more sensitive to pick this up. She might have to re-do the MRI again. As for her chemo treatment, we're waiting for the blood test result back to see if the tumor marker had gone down more this time. He'll then make his decision to see whether we should switch to a different class of chemo. She will be going to UCLA again in 10 days to see her doc there for her opinion on course of treatment too. Her doc is also getting her an authorization for a wheelchair

11 April 2000

Grace saw the doctor this morning. The tumor marker has plateaued. The doctor has decided to wait until after she sees her doctor at UCLA next Wednesday before switching to another chemo. Perhaps they have some other recommendation on the course of action. Her doctor mentioned possibly having a lumbar puncture to make sure there's nothing in the spinal fluid.

2 May 2000

Grace went today to start her new series of chemotherapy, since her previous treatments didn't seem to be very effective. She'll be doing a weekly intravenous treatment this time. Grace is starting to get discouraged since her doctors haven't yet found a treatment that has helped (each different treatment is only effective on about 25% of the patients) and her physical well-being seems to be getting worse and worse. Grace has always been a very independent person and now she needs help more and more to do things for herself. She is in so much discomfort these days :(

10 May 2000

Today Grace went in for her second session of chemotherapy with this new drug (since the previous oral medication didn't seem to do much). This one is an intravenous drug that she has to go in for about an hour, once a week. That's the reason she had the PICC line inserted into her arm last week. The effects of this one have been somewhat minor, so far, but still have worn Grace down. Fortunately, we continue to get great support from our church and she has been getting a lot of rides from people to go to most of her appointments.

17 May 2000

Grace was feeling much better today, after her third session of chemotherapy with this current drug. We think that it may be due to the steroids given along with the Taxotere that is making her feel better. Just hope she doesn't come "down" as much as the last time.

21 May 2000

Grace was feeling a bit better, but wasn't sure if it was because the chemo was working or that the steroid drug, given to reduce the effects of the chemo, was masking her problem. A problem with that is that she starts feeling a little better and then tries to do too much and feels really exhausted afterwards. Tomorrow night because we are planning on going to the Wellness Community. This is a non-profit organization set up to support cancer patients and their families, to help them out and possibly increase the chances of living a better life.

24 May 2000

Since Grace's last chemotherapy session last Wednesday, she has been feeling a little bit better, since adding the new steroid medication, but yesterday she was back to not feeling very good and was in a lot of pain again. Today Grace had another chemotherapy session and is feeling a little better...

12 June 2000

She has now gone through five weeks of another chemotherapy and the effects of it are really wearing her down and causing several side effects. Her mobility is quickly being very limited. Although with so many drugs in her body, and the cancer causing much pain and discomfort, it's difficult to tell what is causing which symptom. She's had good days and bad over the last couple of weeks, but most have been on the good side. She had another MRI of her back last week and it shows some deterioration/compression of her vertebrae so today she began radiation treatment in the effected area (neck). We're hoping that this will help reduce some of the pain and numbness that plagues her constantly in her neck, back and legs. So the chemo will be put on hold for a couple of weeks until the radiation is complete.

15 June 2000

Unfortunately Grace seems to be suffering more and more these days. It doesn't seem like she gets much relief from the pain and numbness any more with the drugs. The steroids that she takes to offset the effects of the chemo have been giving her other side effects such as sleeplessness, increased blood sugar levels, and skin problems. Her recent blood test showed less than favorable results. Even though her doctor says that he wants to continue with the current treatment for a bit longer (after she finishes with the radiation treatments), she will probably have to try something else.

23 June 2000

Grace had a less than wonderful day yesterday. She's been feeling really crummy the last few days and yesterday when she was coming back from her chiropractor/acupuncture appointment, she had to stop off at the side of the road and, uh, leave a little something behind, shall we say. We're not really sure what caused her to be so nauseous all day. She's been on so may different kinds of medication, who knows what it could be.

30 June 2000

Grace has discontinued her physical therapy since it doesn't seem to be helping much and the regular visits are just too tiring for her to attend. Today is her last radiation treatment on her vertebrae/neck. She is really glad to be done with this because the radiation, when applied to the back of her neck, pass all the way through and has given her a severe sore throat and a very hoarse voice.

She has also stopped taking the diabetes medication and reduced the amount of steroids that she has been taking. The steroids were given to reduce the effects of the chemo and aid in pain relief, which in turn raised her blood sugar level. So she started taking the diabetes medication to counteract that. But it seems that the diabetes medication was really making her feel sick, so her doctor made those changes in her medication. Sigh…….

So far, the different types of chemotherapy's that she has been undergoing have not been very successful, so the next course of action that her doctors are recommending is a lumbar punch (a.k.a. "spinal tap") to discover if there is something else in her spine. Since she has so much pain, numbness and weakens in her back and legs, they need to do more testing to decide on the next step.

4 July 2000

Grace consulted with her doc at UCLA for a second opinion (as always). She concurred that she should switch again at this point since the Taxotere was not bringing down the tumor marker at all. So, here she goes with Navelbine starting this coming Wednesday, 7/5. This will be another weekly infusion.

10 July 2000

21 July 2000

2 August 2000

22 August 2000

30 August 2000

20 September 2000

22 September 2000

27 September 2000

3 October 2000

19 October, 2000

Grace has not had many good days recently, despite the nice weekend.   It seems that the pain continues to worsen and is spreading over more of her body. And the numbness in her hands and other areas also continue to worsen. And to top it all off, I think she's contracted some virus because she's been feeling very sick over the last couple of days, even spending time praying on her knees to the porcelain gods.

23 October, 2000

Grace's condition is growing steadily worse. The entire weekend she was feeling very bad. Even though we were able to go out to take Matthew on the pony ride at the pumpkin patch, do a little shopping and have some friends visit on Sunday, her pain continues to get worse and worse and she is on more and stronger pain killers. Unfortunately, the stronger pain medication is harder on her system and causes all kinds of discomfort, not the least of which makes her sick to her stomach. She tried to go back to the weaker pain medication, but the pain tonight was just excruciating. I can't even imagine how much pain she must be in right now....

25 October, 2000

Had to take the wife into the hospital tonight when her pain became so intense, all of the medications she was taking didn't work any more, and she couldn't stand it any more. So after waiting a couple of hours just to get the doctor to look at her (at about 1:30 am), and a couple of shots of morphine, she is resting much more comfortably and we are both home now.

skipping ahead past a lot of rough days for Grace.....

8 December, 2000

The phone was practically ringing off the hook all morning mostly from a number of medical service people that I had arranged on the day before. Basically we've started the wheels in motion to start the beginning of the end. Hospice for Grace.

12 December, 2000

Today we received some type of Chinese herbal drug that Grace's parents bought (somewhat pricey) that is supposed to be successful at treating cancer. We're not giving up just yet.

21 December, 2000

Well, I went and did it. Told Matthew about how sick Mommy is and that she may be leaving us soon and going to be with God. But I made sure that he understood that Mommy and Daddy love him very much. Sigh, what a difficult thing to do. I've been meaning to do it for a while, and figured the sooner the better.

25 December, 2000

At about 8:30 this Christmas morning, Grace went to be with the Lord and in a much better place. Her Mom and I were there at her side (and Matthew was in the room too) as she left us. She actually had a smile on her face after she went.